I’m so Horribly Unashamed

Don't let me loose in a boutique unsupervised. 

The shop is really lovely actually, but I won't show you the whole thing because there's lots of naked ladies and unveiled fallacies everywhere and I don't know who's sensibilities might be bruised.  I'm not officially flagging this content as adult only, but it is somewhat mature content and the jokes are gonna be off color.  So if you're easily offended please PM me before you read further and I'll point you in the direction of some very good websites that will be sure to desensitize you.


We'll start with the keychains.  Everyone likes a nice old-lady flash joke.  Though I must confess the size of those things is a tad impractical.  My keychain is big enough allready, they'd actually be better to hang off the zipper of a jacket or from a rear-view mirror.

I know what you're thinking… you're saying "T!  You promised us offencive naughty bits, and this is tame!"  Well this is just the tip of the iceberg.  Here's more:





Veronica's Closet has lots of cool games, like Dirty Minds, and scads of fun drinking games, a pot-smoking game, and some even more risque sex-play games for couples and groups.  I've not played this one, maybe I'll try it out sometime and offer a review.



For those of you who just can't get a date on the farm… or if you're just not on the farm anymore and miss the "companionship"… we have an inflatable solution.  Choose your preference, little blowup piggie or blowup sheep.  Velcro gloves, and rubber boots not-included. 





We've all watched Austin Powers, but penis pumps are no myth, and really aren't a novelty.  I'm not sure about the stylings though, is it meant to look like an industrial lubricator?  Maybe you could fool the maid by telling her it's for turkey basting or unclogging the toilet or something…  I wonder if it comes with a measuring tape or a ruler? 

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About Helmsman

Importing a Vox Blog.
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