Oil Patch Stories Over Lunch

It's a pipe dream of mine to write a dramatic comedy series about the oilfield… so occasionally I remember to take down some of the stories I hear.  Here are today's, the names are made up because I've forgot them allready, but these are actual things that occur.

Phil was working for Andy out in a job and mentioned that he'd never taken a crap in the bush.  So Andy decided to fix this, and got a bar of laxative.  The first day Andy put a cube of laxative in Phil's morning coffee and waited.  Phil never hit the bush but he complained of his guts aching by the end of the drive home. 

The next day Andy put more this time in Phil's coffee and still Phil didn't go in the bush but by the end of the day phil was in a lot of pain. 

The Third day Andy dropped a lot of laxative in Phil's coffee and Phil was doubled over in pain by the end of the day.

The next day Phil was sick and didn't come to work so Andy fired him.


My job foreman told a story of back in the early days when his foreman had him setting down equipment in the bush.  He had them take a truck rack into the bush and he was quite picky about it, he had them set it in 3 different spots until he decided on one.  The guys moving the thing didn't question they just did their job, eventually they got the truck rack pushed into the snow, then the guy had them arrange some tarps around it.  The whole affair took over half an hour.  After which he told the laborers.  "Now get outta here, I've got to take a shit." 

They shrugged and headed off to do other work.

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About Helmsman

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