My First Meme, Too Much Information

Stole this one from Dee, I'm a sucker for a dare.  This would of course be the first meme I would do.

1. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?   Morning is my fave.  The morning wood is usually the first-up, and it wants breakfast!  Other than that anytime is quite fine with me.

 

2. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Anyside, currently right. 

 

3. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? If not, would you?  No, and yes.  

 

4. Shower or bath?  Showers

 

5. Wax or shave?  Never waxed, but I've had this machine thing pull the hairs out of my back a time or two… it gets easier every time.

 

6. What kind of underwear?  Or commando?  Never commando, zippers and penis's do NOT play well together.  Boxers usually but I've got a few thong sorta dealies for wearing the expensive tight jeans. 

 

7. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?  Each has it's perks, depends on my mood really.

 

8. Love or money?  Well money was my first, but she's a fickel bitch, so having a caring lover to console me when money spurns me helps me get along.

 

9. What makes you feel sexy?  Being checked out.  

 

10. Sexiest body part on the opposite gender? LEGS!  Long slender bare with a flirty skirt yesplease!

 

11. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?  FUCK!  Decisions!  I choose hotel I guess, I work in the wilderness all the time anyways.

 

12. What is the weirdest place you have had sex?  On the hood of a junked Lincoln in a junkyard.  Nice.

 

13. Favourite sexual position? On top coming in from behind with her laying flat, legs closed under me.  

 

14. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money? Sure why not.

 

15. Ever been to a strip club? Of course.

 

16. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? Nope.

 

17. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?  Nope.

 

18. Ever been so drunk that you don’t remember things?  Nope.

 

19. Ever had a one-night stand? Uh… no, they all keep coming back, I need to try harder.

 

20. Ever had a hickey in a strange spot? Don't think so… I've left a few tho.

 

21. Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Nope.

 

22. Ever kissed a stranger?  Don't think so.  

 

23. Ever kissed a friend?  No.

 

24. Favorite drink? Granville Island Pale Ale.  Also there was once upon a time a Key Lime Liqeur called Ke Ke Beach, that if you mixed 1 part of it with 2 parts of sprite you would get a perfect drink simulation of Cheezecake… but that drink doesn't exist anymore, if you know where I can find some I will be eternally in your debt.

 

25. Ever had sex in a movie theater? Nope


26. Ever had sex in a public bathroom? Nope, I'm workin on it tho.

 

27. Ever had sex at work? Yes.

 

28. Ever had sex in a car? Parked or moving?  Yes, parked.  I've gotten blowjobs while driving too.  Back country roads and I only swerved a little.

 

29. Ever been in an "adult" store?  Everyday.

 

30. Ever bought something from an adult store?  I've spent enough money on "adult" paraphanalia to put someone's offspring through college.

 

31. Ever been caught having sex? No.

 

32. Funniest sex tip you received?  Weeeellll… when one is attempting to have sex with sheep, the best way to do do it is to get yourself a pair of velcro gloves and some rubber boots that are perhaps a size or two too big.  Then lead the sheep up to a cliff just to the point where it's looking out over the edge.  Then insert the sheeps back legs into the tops of your rubber boots and use the gloves for control, the sheep being frightened of falling off the cliff will do all the rest of the work for you.

 

33. Does anyone have naughty pics of you? Underwear, but other than that, no.

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About Helmsman

Importing a Vox Blog.
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One Response to My First Meme, Too Much Information

  1. Kristine says:

    Very funny, and at times disturbing, but funny 🙂

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