When people talk about sex toys, they think vibrators and dildos and the general consensus is that they’re just for women. The common belief is that sex toys are for self pleasure, and most of us guys don’t seem to have a problem with that. Let the women have their free-rotating, 8-setting, glow-in-the-dark thingamagingies, all we need is some porn and a private space.
However, erotic “toys” are not just for self pleasure, and these days there are quite a few offerings for men as well as women to enhance the sexual experience, however many do not understand what the purposes of such devices are, so I’ll attempt to shed some light and explain what I believe are the sexual devices that every man should keep in his bedroom.
I’ll start with the most basic and most important: Lube.
Lube keeps things running smoothly, we’re guys, we know this. We keep the fluids checked on our cars for this very reason, but most of us probably don’t know what works for sexual lubrication.
For sex, there are really only two options, water-based lube, or Silicone lube. Water based is preferable for just about every purpose and cheaper than Silicone. Water based lubes are clean, odorless, edible, won’t stain the sheets and can be used with any toy out there. The down-side to water lubes is that they dry-out and lose their slickness eventually, this means for masturbation or anal-play you may be required to add more as things continue.
Silicone based lubes won’t stain either and generally provide a longer-lasting smoothness than water lubes can. Silicone lubricant is recommended for Anal sex, though not for oral, and while completely safe for vaginal sex could potentially be too slick as the vagina has it’s own natural lubricants. Silicone lubes are also potentially harmful to certain realistic toys, but is completely safe to use with latex condoms.
What you should NOT be using for sex are oil based lubes such as vegetable oil, massage oil, Vaseline or KY Jelly. (And no, WD-40 will not work in a pinch either.) Vaseline and KY Jelly will erode any condom you choose to use, and any oil-based lubricant will attract bacteria. This means that your girl will be more likely to develop a yeast infection, and that will not reflect well on you.
Ultimately, it’s a good idea just to have a water-based lube in your sock drawer, if it’s flavored that’s one less potential hurdle to getting some wild head, and it can still be used to smooth your initial entrance, which can sometimes be awkward.
Next we come to bullets, and no you’re not loading any guns with these ones.
Bullet is the term used for a small vibrator that’s not designed for penetration; they can be about the size of an egg or smaller and vary in intensity and capability as well. Bullets are generally used by women to stimulate the clitoris, and can be used during sex for clit-stim to help get her off before you.
Bullets like all sex-toys run the gamut in pricing from $15.00 to $150.00, and generally but not always, you get what you pay for. Some things to look for if you’re buying a bullet is whether or not it’s water-proof, a lot of them aren’t and submersible sex toys are generally a significant factor in the price, though I know of some smaller cordless bullets that are waterproof and quite affordable, so don’t be afraid to ask the store clerk about them when you buy them. The other thing to watch for is how well it vibrates, not all vibrations are equal, but lucky for you, boutiques are not like department stores and any good clerk will show you what kind of vibration your toy has before you buy it. A good test is to put it to the tip of your nose. The tip of your nose is the part that has the 2nd most nerve-endings in your body, (you can guess where the first is) so it’s a good gauge to how it’ll feel for your girl.
Once you’ve got a bullet, keep it in a cool dry area of your house. Sock drawers are nature’s ideal location for all sex toys, so keep it there. Bring it out during sex and you can control it if you’re going down on her, but let her handle the positioning when you’re inside her. Women know what feels good and letting her control this aspect of the whole sexual act will only reflect better on you later, trust me.
The third sexual item I recommend is a cock ring. Cock rings like all sex toys have a wide array variances to choose from, some act as sleeves for your penis with stubs or places that hold a bullet for extra stimulation, and some are basically a noose for your dick. Believe it or not I prefer the latter, here’s why:
The general advantage to a cock ring is that it restricts blood-flow from your penis as well as tightens around the vas deferens to hold back the orgasm. This is a multi-layered benefit. The first and most obvious change once a cock ring is on and tightened is that the penis gets thicker and the veins all throughout it become extremely pronounced and ridge-like. To your woman, this is a GOOD thing, you become bigger thicker and bumpy, it’s like putting your penis on steroids so what’s not to like? The next thing is that of course it let’s you go for longer and because of this the orgasm when it comes is considerably more intense.
Simple cock-rings are fairly cheap and hover around the $25.00 range. Look for ones that are made of a material you can handle strangling your dick, also watch how the tightening mechanism works, if you’ve ever got your dick stuck in a zipper then you know that pinching is not fun and will want to avoid it, fortunately most manufacturers are aware of this.
With any sexual toy there is an additional factor that is very important, cleanliness, I mentioned sock drawers twice already and there is a reason for this. Sock drawers are dry, and clean your toys won’t get dusty or grown any additional bacteria there. However you still need to use additional cleaning methods. Most boutiques will offer some safe suds for your toys to keep them clean without damaging them. Don’t use harsh chemical cleaners because they will often damage or weaken the item, and toys aren’t overly cheap so it’s in your best interest to keep them in good condition.
Whether or not you’re single, dating, or married, these things will not lead you astray. They will enhance your fun and your partner’s. If you’re single then you’ll gain the benefit of the fact that the women you have been with will talk about the great times they had in bed with you, if you’re dating or married your girl will be more likely to do those naughty things you keep hoping for but only seem to get on Christmas and birthdays. These items do cost a little money, but are well worth it, and now you know what you’re looking for, so there is no reason why any guy should be afraid to walk into a sex-store and talk with the clerk about them. If you can’t do that then you’re forgetting that confidence is the biggest turn-on for any woman, and if you don’t have that then I doubt my tips will do you any good.