Like many I've been slightly confused about John McCain's VP pick last week. I've even questioned his sanity a little, however after considering things carefully I've figured out what his plan is.
Allow me to explain:
John McCain has vowed on numerous occasions to follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of hell, but he's old and has a bad back and some of the places Bin Laden hangs out aren't accessible by scooter. And being a man of integrity he still wants to see Osama die so he's hatched a cunning plan. He will use Al Qaeda's own philosophies against them.
See we all know that Al Qaeda are the most extreme kind of fundamentalist Islamics, and fundamentalist Islamics must not look upon a naked woman that they are not married to. To do so is to anger Allah and to forsake everything they believe in. The only remedy for this is ritual suicide.
We also know that Al Qaeda watches CSPAN from their caves.
We know these things, and John McCain knows these things, so it's reasonable that he's figured out a way to destroy Al Qaeda without all that strenuous searching. This is where Governor Sarah Palin comes in.
You see, Sarah Palin is breast-feeding, and any responsible mother knows that it's important to keep her baby well fed, and sometimes babies won't wait while mommy is campaigning for Vice President, so it's completely reasonable that she might have to breast-feed her boy while the cameras are still rolling, breast-feeding is a natural part of life after all.
Combining these two facts will show that all it will take is one breast-feeding-related wardrobe malfunction on CSPAN and a good portion of Al Qaeda will see it and have forsaken Allah. For that is the weakness of fundamentalist Islam, sure they have their suicide bombers and their unflinching moral ideals, but one glimpse of a woman's breast and all those suicide bombers go off…
John McCain, you are one smart mofo.