I'm a fan of Breaking Benjamin…
I'm a fan of Breaking Benjamin…
So I'm wandering into the fourth week of living on the job, which I don't really mind, but my dispatch has changed my day getting outta here 6 times now. Since she's started arranging my days off she's changed things every day for the past three days. Yesterday and the day before it was changed twice. I'm very accommodating because I'm in a place that I like, and she really is trying her best. You see our company juggles 40 medics at any given time in the winter, and all those medics go to work at the same time after New-Years, company policy and employment standards dictate that we aren't supposed to work more than 24 days in a row, so of course all of us need to get days off at the same time this time of year which means her job becomes quite difficult.
Brrr.
Dear Sixapart,
It's been another of those weeks.
As a sort of an afterthought to my earlier post mentioning my sister I decided to look her up on facebook and ask how she's doing, oddly enough I got more of a reply back then I expected. She tells me she isn't doing well at all, the stress from school and finances and handling two jobs has been getting to her and has been tying her stomach in knots to the point where she can't hold down food and when she's not puking she's crying. This is something I can picture only because in the last few years I've started to be able to understand people fairly well.
You see, most people who know my sister would think that she's the happiest person they'd ever met. She always has a smile and even her most dire complaints are coated in an optimism that everything will turn out if she laughs it off. But me, I see something different, I know her smile is a defense mechanism and she is very much afraid to let it down. I grew up with her, I know our childhood. Our mom managed her own bouts of bipolarity, and for some reason my sister always ended up being the target of her venting frustrations. I suffered verbal abuse and as a result my nerves are shot, but little sis got the brunt of it. Since we've moved out things are much better and we love our mother, but there are certain scars that are left that I as a brother see while others might not.
She's asked me not to let mom and dad know her troubles so I'm going to look to help her out in my own way, I know she's still fighting to keep from drowning financially, and I've been doing fairly well lately so I think I can help out there, but for all my understanding of human nature I'm not very good with depression… my heart goes out to her, but I'm not sure what else I can do.
So for those in my neighborhood who understand depression and what can be done to ease it… please give me a shout. I'd appreciate it. Also, I'm thinking there might be a touch of Post Traumatic Stress disorder there as well…
I've not been reading nearly as many posts as I have been before the Vox redesign and my commenting has suffered for it. Better people than me have expressed more eloquent descriptions of how inconvenient this redesign really is, but the fact of the matter is that it's effected me in a very real and tangible way. I won't announce leaving or anything drastic like that, I've got other blogs in the works and jumping to another venue would likely be a very gradual one if indeed it does happen….
Well I figured I'd post some personal junk just kuz I'm bored before bed.
(Full story at 11.)